Today we are becoming much more self reflective on the way that we feel and the way that we behave.

We appear to be increasingly inquisitive towards the correlation of everyday interactions and our corresponding behavior in those situations. This introspection often leads us to make a hasty diagnosis, and align ourselves closer to what we believe to be our vulnerabilities, insecurities and shortcomings.

Whether it be with a therapist or coach, self analysis or through the ever increasing selection of self help material, we can find ourselves coming to conclusions that encourage us to embark on what we perceive to be a new and better course of actions and behaviors.

Or at least that is what we hope.

But on closer inspection, what is often presented as a new behavior or altered belief, can often just be a masquerade for a deeper underlying issue that has either been unsuccessfully transposed or simply undetected.

In fact a person can often believe that they have rid themselves of a limiting belief and profess they have been totally transformed, but yet still display the exact same behavior pattern whilst being totally oblivious to it.

For example, one may have strived for physical perfection and from therapeutic inquiry recognised that this pursuit had evolved through a need for significance at an earlier age. This discovery of a deep seated belief regarding insignificance, could then result in setting about creating a new protocol that proves to the outside world that this belief no longer holds true and that self worth has been reclaimed.

How is this so often done?

One course of action to show you are cured and back in control might be to create an even more toned physique!

And so you see, the cycle begins again, but the governing, original belief is hidden from sight because it now comes under the illusion that what is being done is out of approval and an expression of a new found self acceptance. However there is a good chance the same driving force for external validation is at work and that nothing has really changed.

What also seems to happen which convinces us of change is the way in which an underlying issue can use, what appears to be a polar opposite behavioral pattern.

For example, a passive person who on reflection realises they had been submissive in order to be liked may retaliate and appear to become “assertive” (These are usually the ones telling others how confident and assertive they are, often overly compensating in either verbal or physical behavior, which often poses the question of who are they really trying to convince?)

The survival strategy may have changed from being passive to being outwardly assertive, but the underlying cause which could be “I’m unlikeable” is still there. But instead of saying “I’m unlikeable so I will be submissive”, a person may say instead “I’m unlikeable, so I will become outwardly dominant to disguise my insecurity.

The inner feeling and drivers are still the same, its just the external characteristics that have changed. Of course a lot of this is going on out of conscious awareness and therefore goes undetected.

Much like a parasite fooling its host in order to survive, our beliefs seem to be able to create a way to live on often without our knowledge.

Because what ever is driving a particular behavior is often a survival strategy hung on the end of a self limiting belief.

And like anything regarding survival the main function is to protect the organism at all costs. And if it believes that doing a certain behavioral pattern will produce this, it will find away to remain functioning.

Its not to say that becoming assertive or getting in shape is an issue. On the contrary, to better yourself in anyway is to be commemorated.

What may be worth looking at however, is whether the changes we believe we want to make or feel we have made already, are actually propelling us forward in a positive and fulfilling direction that we genuinely want to head in, or whether we are really concealing an underlying survival strategy or a limiting belief about ourselves.