Whilst making my breakfast this morning I went to the draw to get a wooden spoon only to find a draw full of T Towels. It had actually been over 6 months that the utensils had been moved from this draw, to one nearer the stove!

Yet regardless of this I had still gone to the old draw for my spoon irrelevant of the fact that on most other occasions I have gone to the correct draw.

Prior to the change over however the previous arrangement had been in place for over four years. For four years my brain had been conditioned day in, day out, to go to what is now the T towel draw if I wanted a spoon.

This got me thinking how well it illustrates the way our brains works regarding the making of new behaviors. Also how old habits continue to be operational, despite not being used, and how easy we can revert back to them.

I speak to people before who have attempted to change particular areas of their lives and despite being successful for a period of time, have found themselves reverting back to old habits.

So often this will lead to a declaration of failure and a sense of determinism that they are genetically programmed to continue with their negative behaviors along with sense that it is pointless to investigate further as to why they have done so.

It seems so easy today to be lured into believing that change is always instant, permanent and without any need for conditioning.

 The indecent with the wooden spoon at breakfast illustrates quite well that this isn’t how our brains work or how we make permanent change.

 The fact is that change is instant.

For example, six months ago I changed the draws over in ten minutes and it was done.

However the upkeep and conditioning required for me to go to the right draw after the change was done can take a little longer because this is exactly how our brains operate.

In my case over six months!

Imagine if, when I went to get my spoon, I had followed the protocol many of us do when we relapse back to old behaviors.

I would have first beaten myself up for going to the wrong draw and then concluded that change was impossible – (Its been over 6 months after all!) I would be convinced that I could never break the old pattern of going to this draw whenever I needed a wooden spoon. (Regardless of the fact on most occasions I went to the correct draw.)

I would have to face up to the fact that this is just who I am and change the draws back to how they used to be!!

What I did in reality was to close the towel draw and go over to the utensil draw, got the spoon I wanted out and finished making my breakfast.

It sounds ridiculous in this context doesn’t it that I would have given up, but this is how so many of us react when we revert back to old patterns of behavior that we are currently attempting to change.

Instead of thinking in terms of failure we should perhaps just look at these relapses as a brain that is working perfectly.

Any detraction’s are just indicators that we simply need to condition the desired new behavior a bit more in order to make it a permanent primary action.