Many of us have good friends who have great advice or push our buttons in a way that makes us reflect on what we are doing in certain aspects of our lives.

It’s not always what we want to hear, but for me it’s not always the advice, but how we react to that advice that gives us clues as to what is keeping us stuck. Its then how we constructively respond to that information which will allow us to move forward.

Something I know I do is over analysis or counter argue ideas or facts. This can be great because I can see other perspectives. The problem comes when it keeps me stuck.

Something I noticed on reflection yesterday was when my good friend Alex Tumulo was busting my balls again, was my response to her ‘humble opinion’ as she put it.

My first line of defence was attack. My heckles went up and I got all the physical feelings of being under attack, which often shows, what the person has said resonates with you at some level!

I am big believer in writing your rage down because it traps it and stops It running around in your head and winding you up even more!

I grabbed my pad and went to work on my response.

One of the things that occurred to me after I had written my argument busting response and theory that would make me right was that I was spending all my time and creative juices in attack and staying stuck.

I thought if I spent this time – (an hour of angry writing) – on finding out  what I do want, and what is at present making me want to fight, then that’s got to be a better idea.

I was spending my time trying to be right rather than looking at how I could be better.

Many of us see the world from our own perspective and it’s easy to make others wrong. We can spend our time blaming people and circumstances and wind up in a spiral of self-destruction, anger and resentment.

As someone put it ‘ we drink the poison but expect the other person to die’.

It’s certainly a lot easier to blame others and victimise ourselves, but I found yesterday it was a lot less tiring when I stopped attacking and being ‘right’ and started looking internally at what was really going on for me and how I could change it to get a positive outcome and move forwards.