“The solution is in the problem, because the problem is the solution to the real problem.”

Once again October is just round the corner and with it comes Campaigns such as Stoptober which is run by the NHS inviting those wishing to quit their habit to a month of abstinence.

MacMillan are also running their Go Sober Campaign to raise money and awareness by setting their challenge of being a ‘Go Sober Hero’ and asking people to knock the booze on the head for 28 days.

The statement ‘28 day challenge’ alone, implies it’s going to be hard and that failure is a very possible outcome.

I agreed to do the Go Sober challenge last year with my friend and it was an interesting experience, bringing with it some intriguing insights. This year has also allowed me to investigate how it feels from ‘inside the trenches’ by abstaining from the booze for the last 3 months.

It can be really difficult to change a pattern of behaviour and it’s very easy to digress back to our old ways.

To say I had not drunk at all for several months is not totally true as I did have a blip last week where I succumbed to the said ‘social lubricant’ and had a tipple during an evening out.

It’s especially interesting at these times to explore what’s going on and why we return to certain habits at specific times and what, in particular, causes the cracks in those moments to arise.

So many of what we perceive as our vices or addictions, are heavily integrated and interwoven into our lives. Parties, meeting up with friends, dancing, relaxing, dinner dates, and anything in between, almost makes it seem impossible to chastise ourselves from temptation for any length of time.

The fact that these impulsions that we wish to stop doing are so interrelated into these environments that it seems infeasible to sustain from doing them for any length of time and for a good reason – because they make us feel better! They activate the off switch to discomfort in the moment.

For those embarking on any of these challenges, or if you are contemplating a resolution to stop doing a certain behaviour, habit or addictive conduct, something you may find that helps you, is to think of the thing you want to stop as NOT the problem.

Instead think of it as simply the solution to the real problem. That way it can begin to take your focus away from temptation and help your mind become solution focused. After all, what we resist persists!

And because your habit may have spanned years, over time it may have become the solution to many other ‘problems’. What was once initially used for anxiety is now also use to curb boredom, for example.

It’s becoming aware of ‘why’ we do our ‘perceived negative pattern of behaviour,’ that holds the solution to the problem and to making the journey of abstinence that bit easier.

And just so I make myself perfectly clear here. Smoking, drinking and eating are fantastic things in the short term, because they do what they say on the tin.

They make us feel better in the moment and can more often than not, make a crap time better.

And I’ve certainly had some of the best times of my life indulging in some of these vices!

As Clement Freud once said,
‘If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don’t actually live longer; it just seems longer.’

However, what I am saying is that if any of these things are affecting your life negatively or becoming detrimental to your health and you really want to stop them but have struggled in the past to do so, then perhaps this change of perspective could help in you in your challenge.