And that fact is that there’s a huge chance we actually won’t ever change.

Not that we can’t, but rather that we won’t.

That we are destined to be losers in comparison to what our subjective idea of what success is, or what being one of life’s winners means to us.

Have you ever thought to yourself ‘I’m a fucking loser?! I’ve been hammering away at trying to change for years and still I’m in exactly the same state!!’

Thats not me I hear you say, but maybe you shouldn’t be so quick to dismiss the idea that you are indeed one of life’s losers considering the evidence.

Maybe it’s time now to stop wasting any more minutes, minutes that none of us really have to waste, especially losers.

I was going to say ‘time and effort’ but perhaps it’s actually the lack of any real effort that is the reason that all the products that you’ve bought, that promised ‘anyone can do it’ – (except you) – exposes you as the failure you are, time and time again.

Maybe you should accept your status.

If life’s a pyramid and the winners and successes in life inhabit the peak, it stands to reason that despite everyone being force fed by the PC police that we are all winners, the reality is someone has to be life’s losers and dwell at the bottom of the pyramid.
Why, considering your current failure rate wouldn’t it be feasible that it should be you that’s picking through the shit that’s been drop from the top of the tree, scratching about for any tasty morsels that gives you false hope that things could get better or a momentary glimpse of the good life?

No matter how hard you try to scramble to the top, because of who you are, just means you simply have not got what it takes to make it even a quarter of the way up before falling back down to where you started.

You pacify yourself with excuses, reiterating tales of all the time you really tried to change and how life’s not fair, but conveniently disregarding the avalanche of detrimental crap you did – and still do, to sabotage yourself, that will continue to entomb you in your current reality for ever more.

If by now, whatever you consistently try to change hasn’t happened, statistically there’s a good chance you never will. You’re just not that lucky.

Perhaps the best use of your time is in making peace with your lot and learning to live with yourself. Accepting that right now is maybe as good as it’s going to get and the likely hood is, it’s only going to get worse.

Stop kidding yourself that you are capable of sustainable change. I know the lottery tells us ‘it could be you’ but you know deep down it won’t ever be you.

And what makes it worse and more evidence that lets you know you are a loser, is that life’s going by and you are missing it because you are too busy pretending you want someone else’s life, which ironically you are not remotely capable of sustaining.

Not only will you never get there, you won’t even have been present at your own life before you eventually become the ‘old newspaper at the bottom of the birdcage’ and disposed of one last time.

Not much of a ‘legacy’ is it, as so many people now are egotistically fond of professing they want to leave behind despite having never heard of any of Historical leaders who are actually eligible to be considered for actually leaving a legacy.

You can’t even stick to a new year’s resolution never mind leaving a legacy! Chances are once you are gone, in a very short period of time, hardly no one will even remember you.

Ouch!

Now that may be too much provocative therapy for some, and sometimes no one is more critical of ourselves than that voice in our heads, which is often detrimental to us.

However, I personally feel sometimes this is what I need to recalibrate. To shake me out of my current bad patterns of behaviour. A harsh reality check, like electric shock therapy which can often give us the jolt we need to take action.

It’s all too common now a days to go ‘gently gently’ so none of us gets upset, but I sometimes feel we need some caustic coaching that doesn’t sympathise with our stories as long as its coming from the right place.

When we are sinking in quick sand, sometimes we have to be quickly made aware of the actual reality of our current circumstances and what will happen if we do not become very aware, even if it does not sit well with our delicate senses of self.

The biologist and author, Robert Sheldrake suggests that ‘Everything depends on evolving habits not on fixed laws.’

Who you are and who you become is not fixed, but we need to be made aware of our habits that are keeping us in our current realities.

But it is not enough to construct this information from a one dimensional perspective.  We need a mix of many different approaches and techniques to help us increase our self-awareness and to keep evolving.

Our current realities can tell us so much.  It can actual be quite exciting if we can re-frame how we feel when we are being emotionally high jacked from ‘get me out of here’ to ‘what is this telling me about me? What do I need in this situation that I’m resisting? What am I really lacking here?’

Our emotional responses to certain situations are like different dialect’s that tell us all we need to know about us. We just need to know how to understand that information better to give us the best chance to create the blueprint for the ‘better version of ourselves’ and get to the top of our own pyramids.