Walking Bertie on the beach is a slow job.

I want him to be the young energetic Staffy he used to be, always by my side running along and scrambling on the rocks.

It’s something that will never happen, but it’s a fantasy that robs me of the time I do have with him.

The temptation is to just take him home, because all he really wants to do is kip.

But funnily enough, there’s times when I sit in the park alone after work n London, wishing I had Bertie with me so we could just chill  and bask in the sunshine together. 

It’s interesting, when we have what we want, we then want something else, something more or different.

It’s no wonder there’s currently a massive increase in mental health issues.

I like teaching myself how to be more present and appreciative of what I have rather than what I want or would prefer. (Its not something I master, but I do attempt to be more aware of what I do have).

How can I make the best of now? Of what is?

I’m not saying we try to pretend it’s always better than what we would prefer, but if in the moment we can’t make that a reality, how can we prevent ‘the impossible’ robbing us of the possible and focusing on creating ‘the best of now’.

Of appreciating what is.

Bertie likes sleeping and eating, I thought to myself. 

Each day I have a 45 min lunch break and always wish I had more time to eat my lunch and just relax. 

Right now is that space for both of us I realised.

So we went to the Chippy, got some chips and we shared them and just sat looking out at the sea with no alarm call to tell me to get back to work.

After the feast, Bertie slept with his head on my lap. Perfect all round.

I often make myself imagine those things taken away from.us, like Bertie no longer being here, and how that will feel.

Them I imagine getting those things I care about back – like Bertie in this exercise, and then being in that moment, which is now and how great that feels to have him back.

Find ways to create the best version of now, rather than making now worse by wishing it was something else.

(Since I wrote this post several weeks ago, Bertie regretfully is no longer with us and I’m so grateful I was able to recognise the information I’ve laid out in this post at that time, and spent some quality time with him instead of hurrying him home and doing something else without him.

It was the last time I really spent time with him when he was well enough to recognise me.

He was a massive part of my life and I’m glad I got to share my chips with him and we got to watch the sea roll in together one last time.

Try to be present and not waste these sort of moments – because one day we wont be able to get them back.)