For most people, they have areas in their lives that they are discontent.

We all look at other people and think the grass is greener.

We have regrets and idealistic notions that if we had done it another way, things would have worked out for us where we feel they are currently failing.

We all get frustrated in the areas of our lives where we know ‘what we don’t want’ or where we are not particularly happy.

Areas that frustratingly we don’t know what we would rather be doing and therefore stay stuck.

In many cases this can lead individuals to eventually spiral into one form or another of mental health issues. Whether that’s depression or anxiety related or physical abuse and self-medication with things like alcohol or drugs.

Even for the most driven of people, things are rarely black and white.

When we scratch the surface, life is not perfect for anyone.

None of us have got it totally right regardless of how we portray it on social media.

And I’m certainly no acceptation. In fact I’m probably a poster boy for this human condition! The sense that I should be doing something more, be more, have achieved more by now, but all the time not knowing what that more ‘looks like’ so I can at least go and get it.

For driven people without a direction it can be mental turmoil. Knowing what we don’t want but not exactly what we want can be a real head banger.

It creates a sense of detachment, a feeling of waiting for the bus that may never come and a general a recognition of our real lack of control.

As though life is slipping by and we are still not on the right track. One that we can truly lock into and feel connected to a cause that resonates with us – like that person on ‘the greener grass’, who seems to have found their vocation in life and is really content despite often being run ragged at times.

The reality is that many of us – in fact, if the statisticians are to be believed – ‘the majority of us’ feel this way.

Most people are not overly happy how their lives have turned out and many may never find or feel they found their vocation.

Life for many feels like it’s on auto pilot and the best we can do is just keeping busy and get on with it.

Sad though that is, that’s reality.

But whilst we are sitting in this space where we don’t know what we want in terms of the ‘big picture’ of where we want to go in life, we can manufacture building blocks that may help get us there or at least leave clues where we should be heading.

We can create situations for ourselves that do combine that ‘sense’ of how we want to feel that we may currently be lacking and can really kick the ass out of our self-esteem if we let it.

We can find things to do, that give us that sense of self-respect.  Things that aligns us with our sense of self, the one that we just can’t find ‘out there’ in day to day life.

There’s lots of these little things I do to get this sense of alignment with who I am.

Things that continue to exercise my values and beliefs in Commitment, dedication, being trustworthy and reliable, of having grit and determination when things get shitty and to continue to prove the belief that I want everyone I engage with to have who has a dream, especially me, which is as my Tonk strap line says (taken from the poem Ulysses) – ‘To strive, to seek, to find and never to yield’ and that ‘there is always a way’.

Things that test me and trip me up and show me where I’m vulnerable so I can find ways to overcome them and grow by just being committed. Things that in time will help me become more of ‘who I am capable of being’ once all the bullshit and false indoctrination’s have been stripped away.

One of those things which still tests me, even having done it regularly for a couple of years now is cold water immersion training.

Ironically it has the acronym C.W.I.T  – which it often makes me want to do. There’s rarely a time I relish getting into the cold water.

But what I do relish is overcoming my fear.

Of breaking past the doubt, my fear and inertia. Of knowing that if I just follow protocol and what I’ve learnt so far, I will be ok.

Of knowing that each time I do it I’ve got a bit stronger mentally.

These things become distilled moments of how we want to feel like in our day to day lives, but rarely are afforded.

By doing lots of these things we can at least continue build our sense of self-worth one block at a time. By doing those things that challenge us, those things that attract us and at the same time scare us.

Those things that we know deep down resemble who we are – who we are at our core – who we are meant to be – but who life has taught us to doubt or to believe we were not capable of doing.

No one has all the answers. Many people are living quiet lives of desperation. And I don’t know whether there’s a way out for the majority.

But that’s no reason to quit.

No one knows what’s round the corner – so that means there’s a chance.

But that chance won’t happen if we are not sharpening who we are in preparation.

We won’t even recognise it, never mind the right mind and the balls to grab it as it passes by if we’ve allowed ourselves to give up.

If we haven’t trained in our ‘metaphorical ice baths’ whatever that is for you, ‘it’ – ‘the life you want’ will pass by because we either won’t have the perception to recognise it or the courage and commitment to tackle it.

By doing something each day, or at least sometime in the week that aligns us with who means we get the strengths to handle what’s currently not floating our boat, and at the same time offers us the possibility that when and if opportunity comes our way we do not hesitate to grab it with both hands regardless of the fear.

My first Free diving Competition 18m.