To understand ourselves, to be self aware, takes work.

Lots of it.
Lots of times in reflection, self analysis, diagnostics and explanations of others behaviour towards us and developing emotional intelligence to name a few, but most importantly, time in uncomfortable environments.
Becoming ‘wise’, of being more present, of creating a growth mindset when we currently inhabit a predominately fixed one is tiring.

‘How to’ can be learnt from a book, but it can’t really be understood.

That happens in the field.

To do so, we have to be willing to be vulnerable if we want to train our emotional capacity, and that takes courage especially when we are by default, controlled by the fear of other people’s opinions and the potential consequences of those perspectives.

I looked down at my desk today whilst listening to a relevant podcast, at all the post-it notes, my journal, the scribbling s on old envelopes, the notes on my white board, my phone notes, which are all conducive of this process.

They are all from the weeks thoughts and introspection’s on how I think and how, I have broken both these down and other people’s patterns in order to utilise and enable me to grow out of a old and negative fixed mindset.

It’s the volume and time I spend doing this that I know how much needs to be done and that it never ends.

But it works.

Not always as the marketing suggests, because much of my life doesn’t work and I don’t have a Ferrari yet 😜. But it works in the micro details.

The everyday areas that get overlooked but, when added up, eventually contribute to everything.

I often wonder if I’d be better off being ignorant to this type of thinking.
But what I do know is that every time I get an insight, a moment to catch myself and to stop, consider, re-calibrate and grow from that micro moment, I love it.

Growing our emotional capacity takes work, but it’s work spent in conscious resolution and growth rather than unconsciously in conflict and defence.