Just got sent a thank you gift from a client as a reminder of the work we had done and what was achieved – all the way from Universal studies!

Ideal for some Green Hulk Smoothies! (See Fear earns confidence blog)

Despite all the work we did, and all the practice my client did, none of the results would have been achieved without something I actually had no part in creating.

Because most change happens fundamental, not through elaborate techniques or years analysing what went wrong in our childhood, but rather because of an attachment to something intrinsic in us, that by not following through, will detrimentally effect how we view ourselves.

Just from conversation with my clients father, he said that even though his son was still petrified when he was about to ride ‘The Hulk’ he managed to keep going through with it, as much as anything, because he did not want to let me down. And because of this he was able to keep doing the exercises I had told him to do and stick with the program where others may have failed.

When all is said and done, its who we are as people and what we really deem important deep down that turns the scales.

Its our character that, if challenged in the right ways, allows us an insight to the person we really are.

Its in these moments that change really happens.

When the ingredients of a life you wish you had seem to be out of stock and you find yourself standing there with with your finger up your ass staring out of the window like you’ve just been lobotomised just get out of the house.

Bank holiday Monday at 5pm I was reluctant to say the least to just go for a walk, but I know it a good way to snap out of wishing you where doing something better with your day.

I headed for the local park which is a bit of a dull do, but it was a sunny day and it got me moving.

Last year I competed in a few strongman competitions.

The first time I said yes to doing it was scary because I had never competed before and the fear of failure was huge. I can remember on the first occasion, the catalyst that made me decide to not run from my fear was, the organiser Rob Blair at the commando Temple asking me matter of factly ‘why wouldn’t you do it?’

It was not about ability. It was about overcoming fear. For someone who knew me and my physical capabilities to look at me and ask the question why wouldn’t you?, meant it was not about my ability it was simply about my belief. I had no other reason other than I’m scared…and that simply wont do.

The second time I had not trained for the competition, but I was still encouraged to do it. I had a few practice sessions prior, but on the day, despite wanting to do it, fear of failure was rampant. I turned up as a spectator, but with a loaded kit bag for a man who deep down wanted to compete.

Indecision from fear is a horrible internal battle and that’s when it helps to have others who know us who can appeal to our true nature.

Standing on the side lines prior to weigh in my friend Dav stood with me and asked me ‘are you going to do it then?’ to which I responded ‘I don’t know Dav’ followed by the truth of why I didn’t know ‘…because I’m shitting it’.

With a grin he turned to me and said ‘So am I. That’s why we’ve got to do it.’

I turned, walked into the office and signed up.

I put this next bit in just as an example, after talking to my friend Dav in the story after letting him know about the post.

Its how I often like to talk about change work with people. Its what I think of as just basic talk for everyday people, about things we are all going through, which often have very simple and straight forward solutions. Its unfortunately an industry that has some how got turned into a very large money making machine, with more and more books and products being produced that seem to have just left a lot of people even  more confused and unhappy.

Here’s our response to this post –

Dav- Quite clear cut really that story. Yeah I remember this. It’s all about fear, EVERYTHING!!!

Me- Ye all my blogs are from real life experience and I attempt to keep it real, basic and true. It’s an old story, but like I say it got brought up with a client as an example of ‘it’s not the absence of fear that we seek to obtain, but rather the development of courage’.

I just liked that dialogue we had and that, when we hit the right buttons, ‘shit just gets done!’ Even if we are shaking like a shitting dog inside! And it’s never usually ever as bad as we thought.

Dav- Yep, I should continually tell myself that

Me- Ye we all need constant reminding because certainty/safety can be a fucker for holding us back at times. When people sit down and tell the truth either to themselves or to good friends, not only is it liberating because we often find out that how we are feeling in certain situations is normal – ie ‘oh your shitting it too? And your doing it? Then I’ve no fucking excuse!’😜 When we are honest with ourselves there’s a space for change to happen.

But it’s tough because no one wants to feel like a pussy!😂

Dav-😂

Skip the first 7.30 minutes to get to the interview. Dan Pena may not be your cup of tea but I think his way is what’s hugely missing from the personal Development industry. Old school, tough love, no nonsense, pull your head out of your ass straight talk without any PC bullshit. Personally I find the underlying message and delivery refreshing.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w_1kQ_MUeuA