Here is a short animation explaining Cognitive Hypnotherapy which draws on recent discoveries and ideas from Evolutionary Psychology, Positive Psychology, Cognitive theory, CBT and NLP and incorporate them into a modern idea of hypnosis to provide a framework for therapy. It does not advocate one single approach as the answer to all of life’s problems but instead introduces a range of techniques drawn from different disciplines that have been found to be the most effective tools for change so far. These are moulded into an approach tailored for the specific needs of each client.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=zofTSkY6xsw

By Jack and Suzy Welch

The modern marketplace demands that people possess a wide range of skills. But what core qualities are truly essential to career advancement, regardless of industry or job?

The answer could fill a book and it has, thousands of times, if not more. Myriad experts claim that career advancement is a function of everything from extreme self-confidence to extreme humility (or both at once). Still others make the case that big-time professional success derives from more sinister behaviors, such as callous ambition or unfettered narcissism. And then there is the whole “positive thinking” bandwagon, which claims that getting ahead is primarily a function of believing you can. In sum, there’s so much contradictory advice out there about the core components of success that it’s enough to reduce you to a weary sigh of: “Whatever.”

Which is just fine. Because we’d suggest that you can’t really manipulate yourself into success with personality tweaks or even major overhauls. In fact, we’d say just the opposite. The most powerful thing you can do is, well, be real. As in not phony. As in grappling, sweating, laughing, and caring. As in authentic.

Yes, yes, we know the upper echelon of the corporate world has its share of slick super achievers who appear simultaneously all-knowing and unknowable. They’re cool, poised, almost digitally enhanced in their affect. But such bloodless executives, even the most technically skilled ones, rarely reach the highest heights. They’re just too remote to move people. They can manage, but they can’t motivate.

Now, we’re not saying that authenticity is the only quality you need for professional advancement. Everyone knows that to succeed in today’s competitive global marketplace, you also have to be smart, curious, and highly collaborative. You have to be able to work with diverse teams and ignite them as a manager to excel together. You need heaps of positive energy, the guts to make tough yes-or-no decisions, and the endurance to execute—get the job done. And, indeed, you do have to possess self-confidence and humility at the same time. That combination is called maturity.

We would also add two other qualities to the must-have list. One is heavy-duty resilience, a requirement because anyone who is really in the game messes up at some point. You’re not playing hard enough if you don’t! But when your turn comes, don’t make the all-too-human mistake of thinking getting ahead is about minimizing what happened. The most successful people in any new job always own their failures, learn from them, regroup, and then start again with renewed speed, vigor, and conviction.

The other quality we’d mention is really special but quite rare: the ability to see around corners, to anticipate the radically unexpected. Now, practically no one starts their career with a sixth sense for market changes. It takes time to get a feel for what competitors are thinking and what product or service customers will eventually want – once they know it exists. But the bottom line is, the sooner you develop this acumen, and the more you hone it, the farther you will go.

But not if you’re not real, too. Think of authenticity as your foundation, your center, and don’t let any organization try to wring it out of you, subtly or otherwise. That happens. Companies have a way of tamping people down, particularly early on. Not that it happens with any kind of conscious planning, of course. But too many organizations manage to surreptitiously nudge people toward a generic type who keeps it all pretty well tucked in.

Meanwhile, if you put your whole self out there, bosses can complain that you act too emotional or get too close to teammates or become too worked up in meetings. Your performance reviews will note: “Tom has some potential, but he just doesn’t fit in.” Or “Sally has some rough edges, but with coaching, her intensity might even out.”

In time though, if you have everything else you need in terms of talent and skill, your humanity will come to be your most appealing virtue to an organization. Your team and your bosses will know who you are in your soul, what kind of people you attract, and what kind of performance you want from everyone. Your realness will make you accessible; you will connect and you will inspire. You will lead.

So, getting back to the original question of this missive: Yes, the modern marketplace does demand that people possess a wide range of skills to achieve success. Most of them you have to acquire, develop, and refine. But one of them – the most important one – is already inside you, ready to be let out. Don’t get in its way.

A version of this column originally appeared in BusinessWeek Magazine.

I recently watched the film Evan Almighty about a man asked by God to recreate the story of Noah by building an Ark.

There is a scene where Evans Wife is at her wits end due to husbands behavior because she feels the family is falling apart and she does not know what to do.

Morgan Freeman, who plays God, speaks to her in a cafe, masquerading as a cafe worker. They get talking about her situation and she asks ‘what do I do about my husband building the Ark.’

And like all good coaches, God asks a question, which I really like because it make the situation internal.

He asks – ‘if someone prays for patience then does God give them patience or an opportunity to be patient? If someone prays for courage then does God give them courage or an opportunity to be courageous? He went on to explain that the Ark was an opportunity to bring the family closer together rather than just simply receiving warm fuzzy thoughts and feelings!

 The reason I mentioned this is that over the last couple of years I have entered such races as the Spartan and Nuts Assault course runs which are basically 10km of mud, cold water and grueling obstacles.

However I must confess that although nervous before a run I have found them fairly easy and luckily for me I have always run with people that where doing it for the first time and gave me opportunity to rest. Although I had enjoyed the events I never really felt I had earned my Medal at the end or been tested.

Of course I could have entered a race by myself and seen what I could achieve, but in all honesty I know what doing well would take in regards to training and the sacrifice I would have to make in my own training – and life.

Some may say, you should then just enjoy it then, and we can go along with that, but I think we all know when we are playing it safe and no amount of reframing it is going to cover up the lie we tell ourselves.

However like the Evan almighty speech, I got my wish.

I really wanted to feel that satisfaction of being tested. The paradox of these tests is that if we know what they are before hand, we often do not do them because we want to avoid the pain and the risk of failure.

However its often in the pain that we get, that can hold the real satisfaction.

Let me explain.

This Saturday I did the Nuts Challenge. I have done it several times in nice weather and I was also doing it again with first timers, so no real risk.

Half way through the run, all was well. My ability lies in having the strength to tackle the obstacles with a fair amount of ease and also running and jumping.

What I had not experienced however in a race before was the cold. Cold muddy water I had to swim in, over and over again. Both the temperature of the water and the outside temperature was excruciating for me.

This is one time being lean is a massive disability! Body fat would have been a blessing!

I just could not get warm. My hands where in pain, forearms felt like electric shocks where going through then every time I shook them to keep warm, my jaw felt like it was going to break because it was so tense, and at one point I thought my teeth might break from the chattering!

There was one point in the race I had to say to the others, two of whom did not feel the cold as much as me, that I’ve got to keep running. I believed I could not hang around because I was so cold. I felt bad for a friend of mine who was also suffering and was her first time, but for that moment it became about self preservation and the knowledge the others where there for her.

I ran on for some time but on completing several more obstacles I met my friends some way back. I explained to my friend I had to keep moving because of the cold.

At this point I was contemplating giving up and getting in the warm.

‘That’s fine Jon, you just carry on’ was the reply. The tone said it all. Not good, and I agreed. So I jumped the fence and redid the events I had just done to keep our team together and help push the each other when we needed it, despite feeling I was one of the ones in most need in my head!

The last event was a lake wade/swim and it took everything to run towards it and do it.

I am really interested in the ways in which we use our mind to push past things that are painful in life, and despite all the amazing tools out there to help, when everything is stripped down, and it feels like survival, its very very basic.

Whilst I stood there shivering like a frozen whippet (this is what I was told when I was trying to get changed after the race by a friend which made me laugh), I was analyzing what I was doing and saying to myself and focusing on. Why did I not quit? What was I doing to keep me there against what was telling me to give up?

I used three simple things to stop me quitting and to stay with my friends despite my internal voice screening to escape because of the physical pain.

The first was that when I was younger I wanted to join the Marines. My eye sight was not up to it, and I was gutted, but I still use the Marine Standard to set my bar in endurance situations. If I had given up It would have meant to me I did not have what it takes to be a Marine, never mind one in the Special Boat Squadron – (well if you are making it up, you may as well be the best!)

There was no way I wanted to feel that I could not be a Marine.

The second thing I used was imagining how I would feel once I had warmed up, but with the knowledge that I had failed, given up and been beaten. Pain is temporary, pride is forever might seem cheesy and foolish to some, but it rung true for me at this time.

For what seemed an eternity of pain, but in reality was no more than 30 minutes, has given me a massive feeling of satisfaction that will last for a long time. I would prefer this than 30 minutes to warm up and then a long time of regret. I even played with this idea on the way back in the car, imagining how it would feel if I had given up, sat in the car with everyone else having succeeded etc. It felt horrible, and it is all ammunition I can use on my negative self talk next time this sort of thing happens.

Thirdly I used guilt. When my friend said ‘That’s fine Jon, you just carry on’ it pressed the right buttons for what I believe in about sticking together and not leaving anyone behind.

I changed my focus from me to my friend and to encourage her through the pain and to get to the finish line.

If you read my Blog on the man to fell to earth, you might remember despite all the psychological training and tests Felix Baumgartner had done to get back on track, jealousy of seeing another man wearing his suit was what did it. Basic stuff, often seen as negative, used for positive effect.

For my situation, not only does this take my focus of the problem, ie me and my pain, it turns it into solution focus mode, because whilst you are encouraging others in the same pain as you, you are also encouraging yourself instead of telling yourself to quit and how painful it is

I remember a seeing a film and a student asks his coach about this sort of situation and he said,

‘We all need to be tested need to be challenged.
When you come across something that is not running, ain’t backing down and is shitting all over you, and you are to tired to breath, well you find that situation on you then that’s good, because that’s baptism under fire.

When u get through that you find the only respect that matters- self respect.’

Non of this is easy I will admit, and its a fight, and safety is overwhelming at times, but if you use your minds software and what you are currently doing with it,  and then use it to focus 20% on where you are and 80% on what you want, you may just be amazed at how much further you can go or believed was possible.

Would I have done what I did yesterday if I knew the pain? Probably not, which is a shame because I obviously more than capable and I would not have felt like I do now had I not done it. Would I do it again? Again, probably not because I did not enjoy it at the time. I enjoyed what I got afterwards. Am I glad I did it? You bet!

I wore my medal yesterday when I was given it because I believed I had earned it. With all the others medals I have just stuck them in a bag and forgotten about them.

Like all things, its not necessarily about doing more of the same thing to prove something to yourself. That in itself can become self destructive. Instead its about using the experience and what you have learned from it and about yourself, to then move forwards in other areas in your life that you have, up till now, believed was beyond your capabilities.