Just recently a very good friend of mine gave me her old car – which was a nice thing to do…..sort of.

You see, I was excited about the car but apprehensive about driving.

I have driven for years but living and working in a City I have ever needed or justified having a car.

So the thought of driving in a busy traffic environment was not on my list of things I was looking forward to.

Left to my own devices I could always find reason for not buying a car because of expense and a like and therefore avoid this issue.

That works only until someone takes buying a car out of your hands and gives you one.

So that’s one obstruction out of the way. I would be mad to refuse it. It would be fine, I could potter in the back roads to get used to city driving I thought.

Not so. To pick up her new car my friend needed to go to Wimbledon and I was instructed I was to be the chauffeur.  Not only was I not going to be able to potter, I was now going to have to face a very busy manic roundabout and the dual carriage way!

That night and morning I was nervous I must admit. I know how the mind works and the film of worse case scenarios was playing in Technicolor with surround sound! I used some techniques to calm down and prepare for this ordeal.

There was a part of me that hoped she would cry off and I could go back to Pottering.

Anyway that didn’t happen and she picked me up. 

What happened? Did the mass collision from a Hollywood blockbuster happen? Did everyone shake there fist at me because I was one second slower at the lights that required? No.

In fact it was perfectly fine. I love driving and to find out that it was just like driving anywhere else, was a huge relief. It was as though for all this time I had been trapped in self-deception for no reason.

The classic line of ‘why didn’t I do this sooner’ was very apparent. I felt free……until the MOT bill! Although that’s another example of if you know all the problems that can happen you will never start anything. Motoring is expensive but if that’s the price of freedom then it’s worth it!

The point is even if I had analysed what was really stopping me getting on the road, used all the techniques to remove worst case scenarios etc., chances are I would still not be driving.

Because without intent, even with the fear recognised and even dissolved, the cost of a car alone can put the brakes on taking action.

What made the difference for me was someone taking the decision out of my hands – or at least the way to achieve it.

When I was offered the car it took that excuse out of the equation. When I was asked to drive to pick up the new car it opened up my own limited range of what I thought was achievable.

I could have made excuses why I could not do it I suppose, but the fact is I wanted to drive.  I just didn’t have a big enough incentive to override the fear that held me back.

Being set the challenge, even though I was nervous, I would not back down. Running away would have been unacceptable to me. How I would have felt afterwards if I had metaphorically run away, would be worse than the discomfort I would feel from my driveway to Wimbledon.

Call it pride if you want. It’s a basic instinct and one that trumped the fear of getting it wrong.

By getting out of our own way sometimes by involving others, we replace our fear of failure with a pride to succeed. 

There is a natural switch that takes place.

Just like if you are afraid of the water. By choice you don’t want to go into the water. However in the same breath if a loved one was in trouble we do not hesitate to jump in. The water is no longer the focus. We have naturally overridden our fear with another higher basic instinct and a core value in that moment.

It’s not to say that we cannot achieve things by ourselves. In fact when all is said and done it’s solely down to us as individuals.

However even the most driven people get in their own way and having people to help us get moving, even if at the time it seems overwhelming and we wish they would leave us alone, can often be quite revealing regarding our own capabilities.

What I had limited myself to believe was my perception. To me I was not capable. To my friend it was a simple, easy job for me.

Its perception of ourselves that keeps us stuck, not our capabilities.

Just like waiting at the edge of the bungee ledge, if you think you won’t jump, but want to, find someone to push you!